What Size Is Really Needed to Satisfy In the Bedroom? - OZY | A Modern Media Company

What Size Is Really Needed to Satisfy In the Bedroom?

What Size Is Really Needed to Satisfy In the Bedroom?

By Eugene S. Robinson



Because it just gets better and better. If you’re having Sex With Eugene.

By Eugene S. Robinson

You have sexy questions? Eugene has sexy answers. Write. Now: Eugene@ozy.com 


EUGENE, SIR: Hi. How much does the size of penis matter during intercourse and what is the minimum sized penis that can fully satisfy a woman? – Ashaq Khan

Dear Mr. Khan: I’m not going to lie to you like every other “authority” in the world who would be more than happy to send you on your way with the pat on the back and the old saw, “it’s not the meat, it’s the motion” and a whole lot of hoo-hah about women not really caring much about size but you would have missed a really significant turn of phrase here. “Not really” and “much” are the modifiers that should give you pause and any woman who tells you a thrill doesn’t shoot up the spine at the sight of well-positioned penis is, in fact, lying. If a woman is interested in heterosexual sex and a major component of that kind of sexual contact begins with the penis, it can’t really be any other way. So start with the sine qua non of penis and how much of a good thing is enough. Which is really your question and my answer is since this is all largely dependent on a sampling pool is that researchers at Kings College London in an analysis of more than 20 studies with over 15,000 men found the average man’s lengths were 3.61 inches flaccid, 5.17 inches erect and the average circumferences were 3.67 inches flaccid and 4.59 inches erect.

Providing your partner hasn’t seen an inordinate number of penises, if you’re ranged somewhere in that range it will be considered by the woman that you’re having sex with that you have the tools necessary for the completion of the job at hand. Now on to your other question: does it matter functionally? Maybe. Sex is about friction and the degree to which what you have causes more of it might be in direct proportion to how many people walk away from sex with proclaiming how much fun it was. On the flipside, too much friction though? Not always good.

So, yes it matters and if you’re average maybe not as much as you might think. Now get out there and remember: don’t let your meat loaf!

Condomly Confused

EUGENE, SIR: I still have sex with an ex on occasion but I have had to stop because he has a hard time using a condom all the time and I don’t want sex with him without one since I know he’s having sex with other people. I am having sex with other people as well and this is where it gets strange since I’d rather have sex without a condom with a stranger than sex with my ex without a condom. I can’t explain this outside of I know he has lots of sex and I think the odds are against me with him and disease versus a stranger that is almost certainly not having as much sex as my ex. Do the numbers support the smartness of this approach?  – Careful + Cautious

Dear CC Rider: I like your Hand on the Rock method of reasoning. If I put my hand on this magical rock I will be protected from all harm, is a nice notion but unlikely, if that’s what you’re asking, to be a sound marching order for disease free living. According to the World Health Organization (WHO) HIV is still a major global public health issue, as you’d expect of any disease that had killed more than 34 million people so far. Last year, 1.0 to 1.5 million people died from HIV-related causes worldwide so still nothing to sneeze at. Yeah, most of these were in SubSaharan Africa but this is your life we’re talking about and most of us don’t gamble on lottery tickets much less the possibility of shortening the duration of our time on this planet.

So while you’re gambling that one-offs with strangers without condoms who say they don’t get around much are safer than repeated trysts with a man without a condom who says he does is just a wacky kind of math possibly more borne out of a desire to punish the ex than approach sexy time with some degree of intelligence. Because unless your ex is a professional athlete his “lots of sex” might be super relative and no safer than your one-offs. So while I hate to sound like a PSA I’m going to have to toe the party line here and say condoms are still the safest advice to give and to follow. 

Sign up for the weekly newsletter!