Hook Me Up

The best part about OZY pulling the trigger on its newest, firstest and nextest sex column?  The suggested names you all showed up with when asked.

In no particular order:

  1. Slow Jams
  2. Fun with Mr. Friction
  3. Puss & Boost
  4. Deep Friction
  5. Sex View
  6. The Distinguished Genital-man
  7. Sexting with Eugene
  8. Sexual Eugenics
  9. Trojan Pleasures
  10. Knuckle Deep
  11. Answers to the Awkward
  12. Bare Back
  13. Coital Counsel
  14. 4PLAY!
  15. If I Cared About Your Feelings …
  16. Long. Hard. Questions. And finally,
  17. The Sage of Shtup

Which is exactly why some things are better left to professionals and in this instance, me, who, leveling think-tank levels of journalistic genius at the problem, came up with the understated elegance of Sex With Eugene . Well, understated elegance and the unbridled joy of this comedic two-step:

“I really enjoy Sex With Eugene !”

“I didn’t know you even knew him?”

“What?”

“Hunh?”

Just repeated. Over and over again. At dinner tables and in the halls of power. From bedrooms to boardrooms, Sex With Eugene is all anyone will ever talk about again.

And and … and then I woke up. Left with little but? Well, your queries about sex and love answered by the man who has absolutely no need to lie to you. Totally unlike everyone else in your life.

Forthwith: SEXY TIME.

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