What You Need to Know About Orgasms
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Because they don’t sell YOU sexy. You sell THEM sexy.
By Eugene S. Robinson
You have sexy questions. Eugene has sexy answers. Write now: Eugene@ozy.com.
EUGENE, SIR: If my man orgasms before me, he goes crazy trying to get me off after. At first it was cute. But now I find myself resenting the pressure. Is there a nice way to tell him to ease up without him thinking I’m OK with never having an orgasm again? —Name withheld
Dear Being Careful of What You’re Wishing For: If you’re sleeping and someone in the next room is playing their music too loud, you might stand up, go next door and tell them to turn it down. If the music’s so loud that the person doesn’t hear you when you scream that the music’s too loud, you might even walk across the room and turn it down yourself. You might do any number of different things, but I don’t think you’d write me and ask me what to do. But we get passive sometimes when sex is involved. So, post-his orgasm, when he’s going acrobatic on you, you’re doing what exactly? If you’re doing anything other than returning the two of you to the field of play — not grimly, not frantically, but playfully — then you’re both going to get caught in this hell of “trying too hard.” Don’t be there. This is supposed to be fun. Make it so. Keep it so.
EUGENE, SIR: Do any of those creams or pills that are supposed to delay the male orgasm work? I don’t need a lot of help, just a little. Seems like my lady always gets there about 30 seconds after me. I’ve tried everything but creams or pills but I don’t want to waste my money if they’re no good. — Eddie
Dear Early Bird: Let me explain how these creams work first. They, very simply, slow the pleasure responses by deadening the nerve endings in the same way a topical anesthetic might be used on a gum prior to a dental injection. You feel less. So the feelings that make you feel like you’re closing in on an orgasm don’t come as fast and furiously, so to speak. That might be the good part as far as you’re concerned but if you’re not using condoms the creams will also rub off on your partner, slowly their response as well. So two steps forward, two steps back. Doctors are recommending thicker condoms to achieve the same end without retarding your partner’s response. They also recommend grabbing the scrotum and gently pulling to get the testicles out of the go position.
But offmarket pills are crap and usually don’t work according to general reports. However, anti-depressants seem to work in slowing down the ejaculatory response. But they sometimes make orgasm actually impossible. However people are taking fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline and clomipramine to slow things down. Erection pills – Viagra, Levitra, Cialis – are also used here. Not so much because they slow the flow to orgasm but because they make it possible to go again even if the first go was a little too…fast.
But you know I’m no medical professional. I’m just a guy with a penis. So before you go taking any pills, talk to someone with Dr. in front of their name. Good luck, pardner.