OZY On Relationships
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Because love makes the world go round. Makes you crazy. Makes you … tired.
The holidays. A time to eat. Drink. Be with those you love. And, inevitably, it’s a time to reflect on your relationship.
If you’re not in one…
It’s a time to troll the Internet for someone decent before the ball drops. What’s a smart single woman to make of those smiling Match.com profiles of 40-year-old perpetual bachelors?
Never-married heterosexual men over the age of 40 have always had a stigma. Especially back in 1970, when they represented only 4.9 percent of the male population. But as marriage inches toward the take-it-or-leave-it category — for both sexes — and there are more never-married men between the ages of 40 and 44 than ever before (20.4 percent at last census count), is being a perpetual (hetero) bachelor still considered a little … creepy?
If you’re seriously dating…
The holidays end up being a time to, you know, casually shop around for engagement rings. Here’s a wild idea: instead of looking for shiny rocks for your lady, how about asking the salesperson at Tiffany for a peek at its best man-gagement rings.
True story from OZY writer Lorena O’Neil: ”I was speaking with people at a bar when I saw a guy point to my left hand and whisper, “Dude, look, she has a ring” to another guy, who promptly walked away. Apparently the conversation he had been a part of — pre-ring-spotting — was no longer engaging. If I had been a more jealous, possessive person, my thoughts might have immediately wandered to my fiancé, walking around with his naked fingers. When he’s at a bar, people don’t automatically know he’s engaged. Where is his off-the-market social indicator?”
If you’re picking out wedding invites…
It’s not about the money … it’s about who cooks dinner. How much ESPN can be watched. Who changes the diapers. How often you have sex.
Whether they’re just dating or are long-married with kids, what couples seem to argue most about is the day-to-day crap. Who plans date night? How many weekends can be spent fishing? How often do you have to visit the in-laws? It gets kind of exhausting.
What if instead of bickering, discussing and keeping score, you just put it down on paper — typed up a contract instead of having an ongoing discussion. Wouldn’t that leave more time for what a relationship is supposedly all about? (You know, love.)