Breast-Feeding Sucks

I’m just going to say it, because — well, apart from Tina Fey and the French feminist Elisabeth Badinter and a few outcast commenters on Babycenter.com — no one else in the real world will: Breast-feeding sucks.

I don’t mean this in some politically charged, rah-rah feminist, F-U Bloomberg and your formula prohibition kind of way. I don’t care if moms post breast-feeding photos on Facebook, Beyoncé whips ‘em out in public or 5-year-olds still suckle. (Although, really, what’s that all about?) 

I just mean that having a newborn glued to your boob is not my idea of a good time…

Stay-at-Home-Dads Have More Fun

Before dads started ditching their day jobs to change diapers, they were the special guest stars. You know, the Joe Namath to Bobby Brady, the parent who buys the Fruit Loops when Mom’s mandate is puffed rice, the hero who takes his kids to Despicable Me 2 when the haggard mom drags ’em to the dentist and then to the dry cleaners. Everyone knows: Dad is the fun one.

But do dads have more fun? With more fathers these days choosing, or being forced, to stay home with their kids — washing peed-on sheets, picking Cheerios up off the floor, wrestling wailing toddlers into car seats and watching them go down the slide again and again and again and again — I wonder. Are dads seriously able to hold on to their title? Are they really enjoying parenting day in, day out as much as they did during their traditional two-hour window? Are they able to sustain it? The fun?…

A Plea for Separate Beds

My husband, Josh, and I shared a bathroom before we ever shared a bed. Our individual bedrooms were separated by a full bath with a door on either side. I always made sure to lock his side or risk his busting in on me. Which, when it did occasionally happen, was always super embarrassing — especially because we weren’t a couple; we were roommates. Those were the good ole days…