The Outré Art of Pegging - OZY | A Modern Media Company

The Outré Art of Pegging

The Outré Art of Pegging

By Eugene S. Robinson

WHY YOU SHOULD CARE

Because what goes in must come out.

By Eugene S. Robinson

GOOSE V. GANDER: DISCUSS

EUGENE, SIR: I am sure you have heard of pegging. The problem is not so much that my girl wants us to try it, but that she’s trying to mock me because we have had anal sex and she was cool with it, and so she thinks I am being a “princess” for “concerns.” I don’t see it this way since, like most hetero men, this isn’t something I’m doing, so, uh, fuck that. Now we’re just talking around it and a resolve … not reached. It needs to, I think. Your take? — HAF

Dear Mr. Hue Hafner: First off, any conversation regarding things that are being required you put in your body should go on as long as you feel like it. Emphasis on the word “feel.” I don’t care whether it’s pharmaceuticals or penile substitutes. In fact, anyone trying to beat you off, ahem, of doing your due diligence? Is someone not to be trusted.

That being said, while I’m not totally in agreement about the paucity of hetero male anal play, I am totally in agreement that your concerns are legitimate.

Here’s a scenario to consider: Your partner says to you, “Hey … let’s go for a motorcycle ride!”

And you say: “Cool! How long you been riding a motorcycle!”

“Never! But I’ve ridden on one before? How hard could it be? C’mon, hop on, princess!”

You see me working here? Any man she had anal sex with, prior to you and maybe including you, in all likelihood, has owned a penis the entirety of their lives. Now, owning a penis doesn’t mean you know how to use that penis, however, never being in the driver’s seat of anything penile. Maybe you’re right to have questions about the deftness of her touch.

A better parallel, for her, would maybe be the first time a penis owner used their penis for anal. That’s a crapshoot, so to speak. And mistakes will be made. If her first time was smooth, then maybe she has a game plan for making your first time smooth. If her first time was rough, maybe she’s learned what not to do.

In any case, the best way to get to “trust” is probably not to ridicule each other there. Because it sounds like you’re game and not prone to the usual shibboleths about receptive anal sex “making” you gay. You just don’t want to be ramrodded into it. So show her this answer, and if you two are still having problems? Consider it a sign that things will not be getting better anytime soon and make your decisions accordingly. Good luck.

IS THE PENIS TOO SMALL? OR IS THE VAGINA TOO BIG?

EUGENE, SIR: Longtime reader, first-time writer. Sorry to add to all of the questions about penis size, but, well, since the penis size is fairly constant over the ages, maybe there is such a thing as a vagina that’s too large? I have had sex with about 29 men and at the age of 40, I have not had a single penis that came close to what I would call “too big,” though my girlfriends talk about this. So I am thinking I might actually be too large and I’ve heard about surgery that helps. Is it successful from what you have seen? — JD

Dear Justice Department: Forget it. I know that’s less than useful advice in this circumstance, but I wanted to start with it so it doesn’t get lost in the hale of crap I’m about to throw at folks who are pimping vaginoplasty, which is what you’re suggesting is called. See, no one has ever gone broke selling stuff to women who have been convinced that there’s something wrong with them. Call it marketing, call it predation, but these folks are out there and have convinced women like you that the long-term solution for any number of problems they might be having is to have their vaginas cut.

And it would be one thing if, by whatever measure people were using, it was “successful.” But you know who doesn’t think it’s either successful or useful? The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Also, and this means a lot less to me, insurance companies. Could be the side effects. Who knows? But I do know who IS for it: the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

File this under, “Sure, I’ll watch your hens,” said the fox.

While there seem to be a small number of cases in which this type of surgery is necessary and helpful, it’s not nearly as many as are having it recommended to them.

Also, in regard to your specific take, I never got any idea if you are enjoying sex now otherwise. If so, I’d leave this alone or maybe look more aggressively for men with large penises, if that’s even necessary. If not, see if any of the nonsurgical options — Kegels and other muscle-toning stuff — help.

Don’t know if this is the answer you were looking for, but it’s the only one I can give in good conscience.

COVID-SAFE S&M

EUGENE, SIR: My master and I want to visit a friend’s dungeon for some play. Feel stupid for asking, but how do I know if they’re clean and what kind of clean do we need to be COVID-safe? — Name withheld by request

Dear Mr. & Ms. Gray: If you’re the first ones in that day and they’re adhering to the standard disinfectant protocols, you should be fine. Extra points if they are using UV light. Extra extra points if your play already involves the use of masks. But … if, as I say, you’re the only ones in that day, or at least the first ones? You should be fine. Play away.

Sign up for the weekly newsletter!