Could This Be the Secret to the Perfect Date?
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Because this will cut through the bullshit of dating and get to the goods.
By Tania Straatsma
Twenty-one-year-old Joey Adams from Michigan State spends hours in his dorm room, drafting the perfect résumé. Pressure is riding on this one page of information. It could change his trajectory in life. He jots down his acquired set of skills and past experiences that he thinks might add value. Includes some of his best strengths and even some weaknesses (that he plans to improve someday). When he finishes, he strikes up the courage to apply. All in hopes of landing the perfect … date.
Yes, date. Adams is building a résumé for a date. And we think dating résumés are a pretty nifty idea — a solid way of bypassing the horridness of dating. (Though I’m now married, I still bear scars from my decade in the troubling trenches of the dating world.) Look at it this way: With endless questions and awkward small talk, going on a date almost feels like a job interview already — or at least work.
So let’s require dating résumés on the first date, just as we do for the job hunt. Your strengths (baker extraordinaire, runner of seven-minute miles), weaknesses (severe commitment-phobe), previous experience (one failed long-distance relationship) and your objective (to get laid, duh) all displayed on a piece of paper for your possibly special someone to see. You could even list your exes as references (available upon request, of course).
All relationships, whether they are friendships, hookups or more serious, function fundamentally by being on the same page. And a page is exactly what a dating résumé will be — a big advantage over the long-winded profiles one must fill out on some of the older-school dating sites. Another advantage? Privacy. No chance a coworker, ex or that creepy guy at the coffee shop might happen upon a photo of a duckface selfie.
And just ask Adams about the résumé’s advantages over the cheesy one-liners on Tinder. His dating résumé was posted to Facebook and went viral, and now he’s got hundreds of suitors. “I like the idea way more than swiping right. It doesn’t take any courage to swipe right. Any bozo can do that,” says Adams.
So, what should a dating résumé look like, you ask? Julie Spira, a cyberdating expert — who, by the way, thinks a dating résumé is a brilliant idea — says it should be witty and charming and present your best self without giving away too much: “You need to have enough mystery that’s left for the first date.” In her mind, if Match.com and infographics had a baby, it would be a dating résumé.
To be sure, dating résumés aren’t foolproof. As with any résumé, people could lie. Except that instead of not telling the truth about how many languages you speak, it’s that you have five STDs or you actually hate dogs (not OK). And, as Spira reminds us, no résumé could capture the crucial ingredient of chemistry: “There needs to be a human element, meeting face-to-face and hearing their voice,” she says.
Yet dating résumés could help the singletons who are clawing their faces trying to make one lousy connection in an online-dating world that just gets more fabricated by the month. It’s time to go back to the good old days of courtship. Getting back to the core of who you are as a person, putting everything out there from the beginning. Lay out your history on the (dinner) table.
- Tania Straatsma, OZY AuthorContact Tania Straatsma