Service members who sacrifice their lives to protect our nation deserve our utmost admiration and respect. As do their families. Yet, recent national debates about military families tend to miss the point, using Gold Star family members as tools for political gain, which is disgraceful. These debates also belie a much bigger problem: Americans are too far removed from our military to understand the true costs of war. Gold Star families aren’t pawns, and we should all be able to agree on that no matter what we believe politically.