The Presidential Daily Brief


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    Doomsday’s Been Postponed, According to Numerologist

    This is your new final warning. American numerologist David Meade had predicted the end of the world Saturday, when Earth would collide with the mysterious planet Nibiru. When that didn’t pan out, Meade declared the event, indicated by verses and codes he gleaned from the Bible, has been postponed to Oct. 21. Skeptical? Well, the prediction’s certainly brought verifiable tribulation to the life of another David Meade, an entertainer in Northern Ireland who reports that heavy traffic has crashed his website and he’s been receiving death threats, presumably from disappointed believers.

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