The 24-hour news network is prepared for the apocalypse. Years ago, Ted Turner commissioned a sign-off video to be played if the Earth’s demise is “confirmed.” Folks thought it was a joke, but footage unearthed by an intern reveals it’s true. In the clip, a military marching band plays the national anthem and “Nearer My God to Thee,” allegedly the last song heard on the Titanic. “I can’t watch this without getting tears in my eyes,” Turner once said. Let’s hope it never hits the air.