Why you should care
Because mortar boards are still the stuff of which dreams are made.
If you’re graduating or have already graduated, the reality of someone standing at a podium lecturing on the brave new world you’re about to face, betwixt and between topical jokes, is all Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice right about now. Which is to say: full of fuzzy sound and nonfury, and largely unintelligible. But more damning than that? Unmemorable.
Which is strange, given that this is such a significant life milestone. But the speeches that are not so insignificant? The ones during which the speaker goes up into the rarefied air of the improbable? Now these just might have the escape velocity to get you to remember them long after they’ve been given. Need more proof? We’ve got your stinking proof. Don’t know if that will make you OK with your career choice of proctology, but if it doesn’t, there’s a strong possibility nothing will.