The Eugenious Solution to Prop 47
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Because we think we’ve discovered a possible cure for getting extremely high at lunchtime.
The kind of magic that makes public policy so monumentally amusing, if you’re on the nonprison side of it, is that it’s one of the few places where water might burn you, night might blind you and a law designed to ease prison overcrowding may indirectly result in prisons being filled.
Hunh? What? How? Why? Exactly.
California’s Proposition 47, designed to go easy on nonviolent and nonserious offenders by knocking their crimes down from felonies to misdemeanors, has had a not entirely unexpected consequence: anecdotal reports of crime increases in the places where the ex-cons are being released to. We don’t know if the reports are true or not, but what we do know to be accurate beyond any shadow of doubt: We’ve got one of the world’s most perfect solutions ever to this possible problem.
Don’t believe us? You should.