Track Your Farts With an App
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Having gas is like jury duty. No one likes it, but it’s inevitable. Now you can prepare yourself.
By Larry "The Blackspot" Hester
Back in 2008, during the early days of the Android mobile operating system, there were only a few hundred apps to choose from in Google’s marketplace. A ton of those apps were variations of fart sound effect generators. Which meant, inevitably, a sh*t ton (pun intended) of fart apps proliferating in both the Android and iOS marketplaces.
But out of the storm came one brave developer, who chose to add purpose to digital pooting: with the Fart Code app.
We knew that wearables could be way more fun.
Fart Code, it turns out, is more of an analyzer than a toy. It uses your iPhone’s camera to scan the barcodes of food products. It then checks the ingredients and tells the user what kind of fart it will likely produce, and what’s in the food that causes it. Types of farts are ranked on a scale from “Stinky” to “Toxic,” and the ingredients are explained.
We scanned a bottle of hickory-flavored barbecue sauce and were surprised to get a “Gross” fart rating, with the culprit ingredient being fructose.
If that’s not enough to for you, Fart Code also mimics the sound of the fart, and vibrates to match the effect said fart would have on your digestive system. For example, we scanned a bottle of hickory-flavored barbecue sauce and were surprised to get a “Gross” fart rating, with the culprit ingredient being fructose. All this time, we were blaming the pounds of grilled meat.
And yeah, maybe the thing is meant for “education,” as the grownups will tell you: so says Margaret Johnson, executive creative director and partner at the GS&P advertising group. “It’s a fun and engaging way to get kids to think about what they are putting in their bodies,” Johnson said in a press release. But we adults are having fun with it, too.
There isn’t a version of Fart Code for Android yet — ironic, given their history of fart apps — so only iOS users will be able to scan and predict what will come out of their can. If you have an iPhone, iPod touch or iPad, it’s a freebie. Consider it a better time investment than Yo.
- Larry "The Blackspot" Hester, OZY Author Contact Larry "The Blackspot" Hester