So THIS Is What Crime Fighters Do on Their Day Off
WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
Aren’t you curious what heroes get up to in their spare time?
By daisy Carrington
The Tick landed (with a bang) on Amazon Prime on August 25. The big blue eccentric hero (of the super variety) is joined by his reluctant partner in thwarting evil, Arthur. Before the pair come crashing through your ISP, they’ve stopped by OZY to curate our Good Sh*t section and share with us some of their favorite things.
Hello, chums! The Tick here — hero of the super variety. That blue guy with the reflexes of an Olympic-level jungle cat. But when I’m not doing battle with villainous masterminds, I like to flex my brain wrinkles by keeping my slang tight. That’s why I spend my spare time — when I’m not answering destiny or up on the rooftops, mind — with this handy Slang Flashcards deck.
See, those funny goofs over at Knock Knock make all kinds of neat gifts — and they fill them up like hot, fruity pastries with humor and smarts! As Melanie Gasmen, a marketing type at Knock Knock, told me at an abandoned factory late the other night: “Slang Flashcards aren’t just for the slang-challenged, but for those who could use street talk to their advantage. Heroes of the super variety can use this deck to shape their quick quips and comebacks.”
You’ve hit the tiger right on the toe there, Melanie! Wicked men beetling away at their dung hill of evil face only crushing defeat in a war of words against The Tick! According to the Knock Knock folks, this deck brings “the tricky tongue of today’s youth within reach.” Well, forget the youth, chums! I am more concerned with the tricky tongue of evil! And I know it well — it’s all wet and scratchy and not to be trusted!
But thanks to the time I spend studying these cards, The Tick can bamboozle bad guys with quick wit and a turn of phrase for every occasion. Yes, I did just refer to myself in the third person. What of it, boo? You got beef, shorty? Look out evildoers, The Tick rolls deep!
“Send your notes to the cloud discreetly and erase them in the microwave to prevent the bad guys from accessing them!”
People are always asking if I’m taking my medication. In my opinion, they should ask Brian Kim at Rocket Innovations. I guess his job in business development is a tough gig.
Still, the “smart notebook” Brian is talking about does come in handy for “together” people like me. You know, accountants with their own job and their own apartment, who aren’t part of any bigger plan.
I do a lot of surveillance in my spare time — uh, I mean, I do a lot of birdwatching, and I take a lot of notes on my birdwatching, OK? So I wouldn’t want my notes — my birdwatching notes, that is — falling into the wrong hands. That’s why I write them in the Rocketbook Wave notebook. You send the notes you write in the book to the cloud using the Rocketbook app, then erase what you’ve written by putting the notebook in the microwave. No, seriously, please don’t call my sister! This is actually true.
It works like this: If you write with a Pilot FriXion Pen — you can order them from Amazon — well, Pilot FriXion ink turns clear under heat. The notebook has been designed to be microwave-safe, so all you do is microwave it and your notes disappear. When the Wave logo on the cover turns from blue to white, you know the book has been cleared and is ready to reuse.
So, say you were surveilling something … or, er, taking notes on your late-night birdwatching session at The City docks, because there are a lot of gulls around there — well, this notebook is ideal. If someone were to raid your crime lab — or, I mean, take your birdwatching notebook from your normal desk in your normal apartment — they wouldn’t learn anything, and you wouldn’t lose anything.
And that’s why every time I get arrested — er, I mean, if I were to get arrested — my notes stay safe.
The Tick starts streaming August 25 exclusively with Prime on Amazon.
- daisy Carrington, OZY Author Contact daisy Carrington