What It Means When Your Wife Wants a Threesome

What It Means When Your Wife Wants a Threesome

Why you should care

Because sex is serious business.

You have sexy questions? Eugene has sexy answers. Write. Now: Eugene@ozy.com

Goose vs. Gander

EUGENE, SIR: My wife wants to bring in a woman for a threesome. She also wants to bring in a man some other time. While I might be fine with another woman I’m not so fine with another man. She says this is not fair, but she is into women as well and I’m not into men so the way I see it she’s having twice the sex she wants and I’m only getting half what I want. She is angry with me now. Am I being unreasonable? — name withheld by request

Dear Uh Oh: This is some very high stakes stuff being rolled out in front of you. On the one hand your wife is to be applauded for being straightforward, forthright, honest and adventurous. On the other hand if this is a far cry from what you signed on for when you got married you might be able to honestly cry foul here. However, IF you do so, you must do so fully realizing that by doing so you don’t necessarily halt play; you just halt your involvement in that play. In other words she is giving you a choice: come along or hear about it later.

How you choose depends on what you have the stomach for. On the one hand being there demystifies what goes on there. On the other hand what you see if you’re there will be burned into your head. Forever. And of course we’re not talking about you two with another woman but rather you and her and another dude.

However if you’re not there at all? Well, really just about anything could happen. And when anything happens then you’re in a position to have to deal with that anything. So choose carefully. But to answer your question: the issue is not whether or not you’re being unreasonable (you’re not. You honestly have offered an opinion when offered two possible scenarios). The issue is how to make the next move that gets you the most of what you want and the least of what you don’t want. I’ve helped here as much as I can. The rest? Up to you. Good luck.

The Long + Short of It

EUGENE, SIR: Dear, sir. How to increase penis length? — Sanjay Channe

Dear Mr. Channe: I get asked this question about once a week. And I’ve been doing a sex column in one way, shape or form since 1999. The reality of it is the short answer, sorry, is NO. The penis is a miracle of modern bioengineering and while penis pumps have been shown to be pseudo-effective there’s a catch: they’re only effective while you’re using it. Which is the functional equivalent of stretching the penis and saying “LOOK….My penis is BIGGER!

Surgical methods outside of being costly and dangerous also don’t end up offering the kind of results you might be looking for at least 25 percent of the time according to doctors who perform phalloplasty, or surgery on your penis. Unless you’re looking for death of parts of the penis, infection, blood clots, erectile dysfunction and the list goes on. A much better bet? Facing facts and realize that for every lock there is a key and you merely need to find the partner for whom, in full Goldilocks fashion, you are JUST RIGHT. This might be cold comfort but it’s the only kind of comfort I can offer.

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