The Irresistible Space Between a Busty Woman's Breasts

The Irresistible Space Between a Busty Woman's Breasts

You have sexy questions? Eugene has sexy answers. Write. Now: Eugene@ozy.com

The Breast Things in Life

EUGENE, SIR: My girlfriend has big breasts. I want to hold them together so I can have sex with the space between them but she acts like this is a stupid request. Says it’s like having sex with her armpit and tells me I watch too much porn even though I am sure people have been doing since before there was porn. What do people who regularly enjoy this say to recommend it? – Name withheld by request

Dear Cleavage Bonage: Sex is a funny thing. Not many have gotten an orgasm from giving a handjob yet some people still do give other people, usually people with penises, handjobs. Probably same with cunnilingus or fellatio, sex is full of spaces and places where what’s happening doesn’t directly contribute to your pleasure in the same way that anal-vaginal intercourse might. But there are statistics detailing how frequent it is for women to orgasm from thrusting alone and it’s clear an argument could be made that it’s less about which individual items don’t give direct pleasure and more about the mixed menu of those things with things that very much do.

While no more sterling journal of note than Cosmopolitian magazine with their totally hilarious description of it as ”t-effing” describes it from the point of view of an aforementioned service job a woman might do for her man, a porn star friend of ours describes how she prefers it to be done that while minimizing the man’s visual enjoyment, maximizes the collective enjoyment. “It’s all about the 69,” she laughs. “So he gets in there and she gets hers.”

A strategy worth trying and even if it doesn’t get you to an end goal that I imagine has everything to do with the visual impact of being able to SEE this as it happens, it’s a step in the right direction for sure. But side note: the key to good sex is imagination I imagine. Minus this? It’s dangerously on par with tooth brushing. Which is to say: trying new things can be good if you’re trying to stay interested in having sex at all.

Porn Panic

EUGENE, SIR: He was handsome, sexy, attractive, funny and was really comfortable with himself physically so I guess I should have seen this coming but six months in to a relationship with Mr. Perfect he said he felt bad not letting me know. What? That he had done some filming in porn. I asked him if he meant “as a director”. He said that too. But on camera mostly. I don’t think he had forgotten this so I am angry about his concealing this from me, the possible disease risk, him returning to his old ways and, sorry I am not more enlightened, his bisexuality. Am I overreacting? – Call Me Amanda

Dear A Man Down: Overreacting? Probably absolutely not. If this was not weighted and not freighted with a whole lot of bad baggage he’d have told you up front. An admission that he likes to drink wine with his dinner is something he may have mentioned upfront. An admission that he had taken pay for penis? No way does he mention this upfront. And this argues in his favor I think. I mean how many barroom assignations completely skirt issues of sexual histories and confessions in the name of expediency and lust? Same with his bisexuality. These are much bigger issues and if he was in the industry and was tested as much as people in the industry are tested (usually monthly) he may have reasoned that he was epidemiologically safer than the aforementioned barroom pick up.

If that’s the case the real issue then is one of: when do you tell a new partner what? While we all might be able to agree that issues of marital, disease, drug, criminal status should be disclosed up front, none of us should be terribly surprised that they are not. And beyond that what are the chances that he can be a good partner in the future and I think the answer there is probably just as good as you might get from the general poulation, which is to say, relationships are inherently unstable and no one is guaranteed anything. However, if it makes you feel any better insist on condoms from now on and maybe institute an in-house monthly testing regimen. Could help, won’t hurt.

Comment

OZYWildcard

Square pegs. Round holes.

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