Naked Ambition: OZY on Sex Exploration

Naked Ambition: OZY on Sex Exploration

Why you should care

Because everyone wants it, and wants it to be good.

Sex is one of the great equalizers: Everyone wants to do it better and no one is happy with what they’ve got. But maybe that’s something you can change if you explore some of the issues around your sex life. Are you really listening to what your body is telling you? Maybe you’d like to incorporate something you saw on a video, or you may want more quiet time with your significant other. Whatever that thing might be, OZY reporters have found that it is worth exploring, as seen in the stories below.

Why Bad Sex Is Good Sex

Sex can be mysteriously fun.

Sex can be mysteriously fun.

Source Getty

A Berlin psychologist says couples experience problems in the sack the moment they start thinking about what they should be doing instead of paying attention to what their bodies are actually feeling and wanting. This seems logical, but it turns out many of us get too inside our heads when it comes to matters of performance. She says that if you care about having a better sex life, you just need to let it rip and let your body’s natural desires lead the way. And if this means having sex that’s somehow not optimal in an aesthetic or ideal sense, then that’s fine too.

“I advise my clients to consider themselves gourmets, to be choosy, to let their appetite lead them. Sometimes that might lead to unusual combinations; sometimes they might find they are content with just a few bites. Whoever always consumes the whole set meal, no questions asked, needn’t be surprised if he is never satisfied! It is well worth it to ask yourselves every time what you are in the mood for. A quickie before going out to see a show? Long kisses in the car? Or the usual sequence of foreplay, intercourse and cuddles on a Sunday morning? Be selfish; focus on what will give you pleasure, and your partner will reap the benefits.”

Read more here.

The Oral Questionnaire

Where will you put your tongue?

Where will you put your tongue?

Source Diana Scheunemann/Gallerystock

Where does oral sex fit into the equation of “real sex”? Many people today, especially teenagers, use oral sex as a substitute (or perhaps more accurately, an intermediary) step, to the real thing. But isn’t it all the same thing? Is penetration the definitive line that separates real sex from the “we’re just friends with some really pleasurable and addictive and frankly supergreat benefits” side? What about ejaculation as a result of oral pleasure – is it simply a different form of masturbation? All of these are really interesting questions that OZY’s Maggie Moe asks people on the street. What she found was quite interesting, including the following from a well-dressed gentleman:

“[Oral sex as an act of sex] is an artificial distinction that [was] valued in an ancient, bygone culture that I don’t personally value.”

Read more here.

How Porn Is Good for Your Sex Life

To explore is to try something new.

To explore is to try something new.

Source Getty

Everyone watches it but few people admit to it. It’s porn, of course, and modern people’s relationship to it is now more complicated than ever. Most agree that it’s generally too hyper-real, fake and overly athletic to constitute an accurate depiction of sex, but there are things about it not everyone agrees on. Its psychological effects on the viewer, mainly. Several studies, and even the popular movie Don Jon, posited that watching too much of it led to poor performance and lack of intimacy. But one study found that men “who watched more hours of porn were better able to get it up.” It’s true.

“Jim Pfaus, a co-author of the study and professor of psychology at Concordia University, and Nicole Prause, a research scientist at the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, analyzed data from 280 men, half of whom were in relationships, who had participated in previous studies. The two scientists were looking for a correlation between how much porn the men watched and how well they could get and maintain an erection. Participants were also brought into a lab, where they watched a couple having sex, and rated how turned on they were.”

Read more here.

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