Eugenious: Happy National Masturbation Month!

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Why you should care

Because making love might be fun, but it’ll never beat that orgy of one.

You need a whole month to celebrate something you claim to never do but that you for sure are doing probably more often than you brush your teeth?

Apparently YES.

So come along and sing a song of National Masturbation Month, where all good Americans dig down deep to not only remember surgeon generals of days gone by but to remember the halcyon moments of this morning, when you had a few minutes before you headed out to work and you chose, instead of rushing, to get in touch with yourself. In earnest.

Which, our resident “Sex With Eugene”–ologist, OZY’s Eugene S. Robinson, firmly and aggressively opines on. Right here. Right now.

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