Mad Libs: A Genius Fix for Your Awful Commute

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Why you should care

Because your time is worth more than this — so here’s how to take your commute to a new height. 

It’s Monday. You wake up at 6 a.m. to avoid the traffic. You defrost your car, start driving and then hit the highway. Niet. The whole world seems to be driving. God, there’s nothing like traffic to prove to you that Top 40 stations only play 10 songs.

In the San Francisco Bay Area, traffic begins as early as 5:30 a.m. and then again at 3 p.m. for the trip home. There’s no rest for the wicked(ly innovative). We could all use a global solution to traffic.

Sure, you could improve public transportation or allow commuters to work from home one day a week … or you could build double-decker highways. Elevate the roadways to double capacity, quick and easy. Elon Musk, Silicon Valley’s resident theorist, has said this is a good idea too. Even earlier, in 1964, an exhibit at the New York World’s Fair called Futurama showed elevated highways and sidewalks.

So should we build up our highways like skyscrapers? Or is there a better fix?

OZYImmodest proposal

Propositions that fall on the continuum between controversial and utterly insane. Sometimes we're tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes, dead serious.